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When Jesus will return

Every Christian I've ever known has said that the physical bodily resurrection of Jesus is paramount to their belief. It's not enough that he rose spiritually, conquering death figuratively, but he has to have defeated death and risen with his body. And it is with his body that he went up to heaven. This is key. He took his physical body with him.

Now, heaven is a place outside of our physical universe so since Jesus didn't just "poof" out of this universe and into an alternate reality of milk and honey and 72, uh my bad--but instead lifted off of Earth to go to heaven I postulate that he had to travel to the "edge" of our physical universe in order to get into heaven.

So that means he had to take all his mass with him as he headed to heaven which puts a physical limit on how fast he could go to get there--or maybe he converted his mass to light and then went the speed of light all the way to get to heaven. The "edge" is something like 13.7 billion light years away and getting farther away as we speak. That would mean that Jesus would need quite a bit more time to get to heaven--something like 14+ billion years--before he could even contemplate physically coming back for act two. I'm sure that he'd want to spend a few million years saying hi to dad and catching up on the heavenly gossip, and all.

So I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that Jesus will return on August 10th, 30 billion years from now, what with factoring in expansion and gettin' through customs at Heaven's border.

Mark your calendars!

You missed the point where he is omnipotent.. meaning that whatever reason you have to doubt anything they believe in, its invalid, since Jesus, or God, or the holy moly, erm i mean ghost, can do anything at any time out of nothing. It doesn't take time to do anything for omnipotent beings. They also don't need any matter. Well ok God did need time to rest after screwing up the earth.. and he did need dirt and a rib to create the humans.. but that doesn't prove anything!! But then again nothing ever proves anything.. since we are too stupid to understand anyway.

Besides Jesus could have hidden his body somewhere before he beamed up to the heavens.

30 billion years?! Where are you getting your information from?

Anthony wrote:

"30 billion years?! Where are you getting your information from?"

I used the time-honored pseudo-scientific rectal extraction method employed by most of your finer end-times profiteers.

You really aren't saying anything.

From: Anthony You really aren't saying anything.

Actually I'm saying that Jesus will return 25 billion years after the sun becomes a red giant. And I know exactly what he will say as he stands on a scorched and lifeless Earth:

"My bad."

Good joke.

If he does return I hope he terminates the human species.

Please stop trolling and get some psychological help.

Don, do not think there are good reasons for the species to be exterminated or are you that invested in a failed enterprise based on delusions that you deny the reasonableness of the statement. The only people on this planet that are not deluding themselves with some form of bullshit is the existential nihilists. Atheists that claim to be secular humanists and theists both bullshit themselves with make believe to make life tolerable and not absurd. You are a bullshit artist peddling science and philosophy rather than god.

.... he says using a computer, which was created through the science and technology he thinks don't exist, or something.

That lying son of a he said he would be back within a generation. >.>

From: CourtFool That lying son of a he said he would be back within a generation. >.>

He din't lie as much as he's really quite bad at math.

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