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Myself and husband-to be are getting married and are looking for someone to marry us, but can't find anyone that doesn't use the bible or prayers. Can anyone help me find someone or know of someone?


There are a great number of people who can perform weddings. The usual secular route is a Justice of the Peace.

I used a JP and was married at city hall. It was great. His name was Judge Herb Evans and he's available in Austin. He quoted from the Bible, just descriptions of "love"--the "love is patient, love is kind...etc." passage--but nothing doctrinal or regarding god or religion; he also used American Indian traditional marriage verbiage, which was really incredible. I had never heard it before, and asked him where he got it from. He sent us a letter back explaining the origins. Anyway, just fyi.

Love is patient huh?

Love is BLIND. If you love, you're making yourself BLIND.

Anyway, how great is it to love if you're just going to die? Life is meaningless. Everything you do in here is ALL USELESS. That won't save anyone from death!

What people need is some kind of rejuvinating potions, or other youth-preserving materials. NOT LOVE! It won't do anyone good.

You would make a very bad atheist, NobodyMan. You are one person that should hold on to your religion because I don't think you could handle the world without it.

I'm completely away of impending death. In fact, just 2 years after my marriage my husband was diagnosed with Stage III Malignant Melanoma. In layman's terms, that would be "VERY BAD." The idea that I will die one day makes me want to not dismiss a single moment of my time in life. It's the only life I have. There doesn't appear to be an afterlife. And if this is my one shot--I want to make it as good as I can for myself and for as many others as possible--because it's their one shot as well.

Tonight I saw a program that showed some very impoverished people trying to live in horrid conditions and unsure if they would be able to purchase food for the rest of the week. On the same television, I can turn on a fashion channel and see people dropping thousands on clothes or millions on jewelry. For me, knowing this life is all there is, and seeing someone spending it in poverty, obliges me to try to help ease suffering on this planet as much as possible. If there is no afterlife, then there is no excuse for me to not do all I can to make this existence the best I possibly can, not only for myself, but for others. If there's an eternity of god--why should I care about any amount of misery--for myself or anyone else--during this temporary pseudolife?

Andrea Yates is an example of the logical conclusion to the idea of a future Paradise with god. From a Xian perspective, she selflessly sent her children to Heaven where they're happy forever now.

But from the atheist perspective, she robbed them of the only possible life and potential shot at happiness they ever had.

Of course we die--and that's it--as far as anyone knows. Many religions have acknowledged this same reality--the finality of death isn't some "atheist" invention. Living forever is not my goal NOR is it my wish. I'm OK with death. It's a natural process. But right now I'm alive, and I don't see it as illogical that I want to enjoy my life so long as I'm in it.

Your post reminded me of something I said earlier about Charlotte's Web. I think this is more or less the exact quote: " After all, what's a life, anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die... " I remember all the trouble we had with our wedding. Too rushed to begin with. It was basically a parade for my father-in-law's church friends. Like he just wanted to say "See! I told you my son is straight!"

Cygna: I think all weddings are for the benefit of people outside of the marriage. It's just our social ritual for moving from unmarried to married status. My husband likes to say that if the couple expects something to "change" after the wedding--then they're already in it for the wrong reasons. So, for the couple, if the commitment is there already, the marriage adds nothing. And, likewise, if the commmitment is not there, the marriage still adds nothing. And things like the wedding bands, for exmaple, are simply a symbolic display to inform other people of the couple's relationship status. You are probably right that the wedding did more (emotionally) for your father-in-law than for you.

I know what you mean, tracieh. I told his step mother that I already considered ourselves married and she was all "Gaaah?" She just didn't get it. Also, she took complete charge of planning the wedding and juggled wedding planning duties with self-imposed (and futile) convert the bride duties. I wanted to hit her with a clue bat.

Cygna: Yeow! You remind me of why I eloped! That's some in-laws you have there. For your sake/sanity I hope they live in another state! ;-)

Weddings are a right of passage. The complexity and the witnessing by others ingrains responsibility into your mind and makes it harder to break up. A little genital mutilation would really drive the point home. That's what we learned in school anyway.

@NobodyMan "NOT LOVE! It won't do anyone good." Either you are a troll or you are really not understanding that coexisting peacefully *is* already love, so it is the simplest proof that love is a good thing. An example for the opposite: I smash your windows and take your stuff because it makes my life richer. Not love. Also, illegal, not peaceful coexistence.

NobodyMan says, "What people need is some kind of rejuvinating potions, or other youth-preserving materials. NOT LOVE! It won't do anyone good." Rejuvinating potions-How about Tiger Balm? Seriously thought, you are one morbid bastard.

Well, NobodyMan, sir, you are certainly missing out. While I agree that we DO need life preservation potions of some sort, or a fountain of youth, I certainly don't see any reason to want to live longer if I didn't experience love. I am 26 years old and I love my gal very much. She is the absolute center of my world, (besides myself) and we will be married in July. (not traditionally, but by a Judge, without a ceremony) There is certainly MORE to life than love, but you must not understand love if you think it does no good. It makes people feel good when they know they are loved by others and when they spend time with their loved ones. You sound like you just went through a bad break up or something. SOrry dude.

Why wouldn't you want the most powerful being in the universe to bless your wedding?

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